to think all these years what has happened to me wat i rose up to be. wat i have learned it sorta amazes me.... i have become peaceful even over most of the drama i have learned that people just dont change very much unless it benefits them which is depressing in this nation of ours its has alot of hate in it and you wonder why we have fucked up children today... growing up in this world isnt easy and has made sain people do the unthinkable all you can do is keep your head up and try your best but there those unwise people that dont want you to be a better person... sometimes it feels like there are so many locks and you can only gauss  what key goes to which lock.... just to think i have lived this long with the wisdom i have been told if i hadnt been told well you can just say "padded walls"  haha but its true life is a journey and it will always have its ups and downs but thats what makes life interesting "help who need it and always pay attention ^.^ and keep your ears and eyes open >O.O< 

lol have you had a day full of dumb crap were it gives a headache were it feels like a someone hit you with a fraternity paddle.                                                           just over a fight which i cant really help with because it involves my brothers girlfriend and i gauss a friend of mine. i really haven't figured out who my friends really are because everyone doesn't wanna tell me the truth even though it involves me. even though i wanna trust them every person i met always want something from me and doesn't want to get to know me. they think i don't pay attention to wat happens around me. so far i found out that i can barely trust family its bad if u cant even trust family let me put an exp. _ok if i tell my aunt that im about to take it to the next level with my girlfriend and i tell her not to tell no one else by the end of the day the whole family knows_ my family is full of gossips two faced people. and the person i trust the most is my girlfriend cheyanna she know stuff that i wanted to keep to myself but it does feel better to tell someone some stuff im still a little scared to show my emotions to her im afraid that she might not like what she sees. like the first we had relations i promised that nothing would change between us but im afraid it has now it feels like we revolve around sex but in my heart i feel like its alot more then that. i dont know maybe im in love. i would give anything to even spend a second with her.